A picture is worth a 1,000 words. but you get the words.

In one week i have had my life completly turned on its head. The life i was waiting to have in New York finally came. in a big way. It's odd. A year ago i met Stefanie Young, she works for Paradox, a Christian org. dedicated to people in the fashion industry. And i kept blowing her off and blowing her off and when i made a commitment i blew it off. I knew what would come and i wasn't ready to give up the self-serving life i was leading. I left a Christ centered life in Charleston to come to New York and i wanted a taste of everythingelse before i tasted honey( which is sweet and amazing and pure). Then a week ago i gave up. i just couldn't take my life anymore couldn't take what i had made for myself. Then God opened up the flood gates. He pulled out all the stops. He gave me everything i had been missing; i had been drowning and hadn't even known it. I fell right into a group of friends that in one week know more about me and care more about me than nearly everyone i had met in the past year. Not that everyone i have met in the last year was bad. This is about all i can explain right now i am still trying to figure out what has gone on. there will be more to come from this i am sure. but i am just letting you in on what i know so far.

The carnival in Dublin.

Then the keily dancing ( don't know if i am spelling that right.)






We look weird because we have been drinking 4pm. oops.




The sideways picture is a famous cathedral in Rouen.

Flower Market in Rouen

pictures didn't work..... boo. i will try again.

This is gary. i spent a lot of time kissing him.



To the left is the Madison Ave. of Paris. Chanel. Lacroix. St. Laurent. All a girl needs.

I Survived....... barely

France....... you kill me. I have never had an experience like the one you gave me. For the first time English was a second language. For the first time i thought in kilometers instead of miles. For the first time wine flowed faster than water. I am sure you would have been happier had i understood you a little better..... but what the hell..... i stilled made it.

Top 10 Moments of the Trip ( in no particular order):
1. Using my impressive French Skills, i told the woman at the toll booth that we were fucked chickens instead of we were lost...... you live..... you learn. for the record it is: nous sommes perdues.... not nous sommes putant poules.

2. The manager at the grocerey store in Rouen thought my friend Stefanie had stolen something so he made her take everything out of her bag. then when her debit card wasn't working he announced to the whole store that it was probably because she had no money.

3. Learning how to keily dance ( traditional irish dancing.... think river dance) in a crowd of 1,000 Irish strangers. whenver they went right, i went left. they went up, i went down. they clapped, i stamped my foot. to get to the point: i sucked.

4. Driving 2 hours up the coast of Normandy to get to the American D-day cemetary just for it to have closed 45 minutes prior to arrival.

5. Getting acid indigestion in Paris and having to have my friend's boyfriend interpret to the pharmacist all the symptoms and then having to interpret back to me all the pharmacist's embarrassing questions like : do you have diarrhea?

6. Stopping on the way to the Mont St. Michel to get out and take a picture with a cow. Right after we took the picture the cow dumped out buckets of piss. i screamed.

7.Getting kicked out of the tour group at the Mont St. Michel because we wern't Asian. RACISM.

8. Making out with a very cute Irish boy named Gary ( disappointing name. i know. i called him Liam) on St. Patricks at a club after drinking God unfortunaly knows how much. I was startled by how quickly the tongue comes into play in Ireland. I feel like a should have been given a warning about that upon entering customs.

9. Getting laughed out of the lunch place we ate at because of our lack of language skills and our intensive pointing and grunting skills. We were stuck in there for 3 hours bacause we didn't know how to ask for the check. i couldn't remember so i thought maybe it was a cognate. for the record it is not le check. it is l'addition. who knew. then after we finally got le check we were stuck there for another 30 minutes because we didn't know what to do with it. and the rude waitor was any help. douche bag.

10. Discovering that in Paris there arn't actually lanes on the roads. you go wherever, whenever in whatever direction you please in that city. That is what makes it so easy to avoid car accidents. who needs rules when you can do whatever you want.

Here is my week in pictures:

Viva la France!

I am going to France today. well Atlanta today, Ireland tomorrow and France on Saturday, but whatever. I am en route to my final destination. I will come back with a blog worth your time. i swear.

So it is Sunday...

it is Sunday, the day of rest. so i'll take it easy; you don't have to twist my arm. i submit. i do however have to take a moment to congradulate myself on having wonderful friends. i know how to pick them. or did they pick me. i stayed in last night and thought about you guys. everyone one of you. i prayed that nick's shows went well. i wondered if megyn had started planning yet. i looked at tickets for aug. 5th. i hoped erin had a warm coat. i looked at pictures of stefanie's 21st birthday. i remembered kayaking with ben. and so on. just so you guys know, you make my world twril.

these past few weeks have been crazy. i have been pulled, tested, stressed, sad, elated, and exhausted. the week leading up to fashion week was at best interesting , at worst terrifying. the box that had 75% of our samples for the show didn't turn up until one hour before we were going to cancel the show. TNT lost the box after it cleared customs in LA. gotta love it. for real. fashion week was a great illusion. i loved the excitement but i am not sure if it is for me. whatever i have a few years to reach a verdict on that one. it is all hype, nothing more. an elaborate dance that ends before the second verse of the song begins. it is odd. i am slowly learning, not really how to play the game, but more how to maneuver through it without being jaded. i pray that i come out unscathed. not that there arn't great people in this industry, because there are. i would need 15 pairs of hand to count them all.

slowly i am figuring out where i want my career to go and what i need to do to get there. i have an idea. a large hunch. pray that it works out. seriously. this has to be out of my hands for it to work.

oh yeah. last night it was -10 degrees.......... if that isn't wrong i don't know what is. i can't wait for global warming to kick in. hurry up ozone layer there is one frost-bitten chick in New York City that desperately needs your help.

Designs

Here are some designs, of my last summer collection. I also have a casual dress collection i would love you to see. If these are your style then let me know and i would love to design clothes for you!! I hope everything is well. sorry the scans arn't the best the computer wouldn't let me upload using hi-resolution. If you really like some of them and want to see them in their entirity i can send you copies of the original artwork. with love, jessye

I wrote this at the airport pretending to be updating my blog online. It rarely happens to me but sometimes i have so many thoughts that i feel like i have to write them down immediately before they all slip away. So here it is. Going back is always hard for me. I think that maybe each time it will get easier but it doesn't; i just become a little more attached than i was before. For the next 9 months i will be an adult and right now the only word that comes to mind is........... FUCK! But my fright is equally matched by my excitement. I have a lot of ideas, none of which i can share with anyone because usually the second i tell someone something i lose all interest in my thought. it always happens, without fail. maybe i have intimacy issues. Sometimes i think God speaks through horoscopes. don't laugh. it's true. The NYPost is famed for never being wrong when it comes to astrology and this morning i woke up from staying awake all night dreaming to a horoscope that gave me the exact answer i had been looking for. Not this " with your planet crossing jupiter it is a good time to connect with old friends." crap but " this is what you need to do and if you don't know how to do it then you need to do this instead." i would say the exact words but that gets tied back into the "me telling people my thoughts and then loosing interest in them" thing and i can't afford to not have faith in my thoughts at the moment. I started work today and i didn't suck. That was my only plan ...... to not suck. Tommorow i am ready for day 2. I wish i had a suck knob that i could just turn down. I know everyone has a little bit of suck but there are certain moments in life that i would feel much more secure and confident if i knew that my chance of sucking was zero. I wouldn't abuse it at all i promise. i would just use it strategically when it was imperitative to my success. I always think my plane is going to crash no matter how much time and odds play against me, and yesterday was no different. Ok that was random but i just wanted to throw that in there. Sometimes i get sick of my own thoughts. I think some of the same ones over and over again it i am starting to bore myself to death. I just want to tell my head to "shut the hell up you are boring me." But now is not the case. It is a new year, i am new. My only vow is to increase the quality in my life and am at the moment figuring out what it takes to do that. to be a better friend? to have better friends? to be more faithful in fate? to be more devoted to the One? who knows, each day will take me somewhere different. I have a new perspective on my career. a perspective that hopefully will take me out of new york and into new places, hopefully out of the stereotyped fashion industry and into the arms of people who inspire me. listen to Nightswimming by R.E.M. it has been on constant repeat on my iPod. it is quite possibly the most beautiful song i have ever heard. that is my one piece of advise.

Let's Try This On For Size

Long time no type.
This last semester left me so confused that I have yet to figure out what to make of it. Good sides:
1. People loved my jacket, the curator of the museum exhibit told my that i should have won the critics award which after a long 3 weeks was more validation that i could have ever asked for. The students had to set up the exbibit. Which was a long frustrating Monday afternoon. The dress forms came 3 hours late and none of them were the right sizes. And i almost threatened to kill my professor's assistant.I mean i almost killed the professor's assistant. But other than that everything went well.
2. I was offered a job with Ellie Tahari. I am turning it down but it was nice that they asked.
3.I got the hell out of the New York the day before the strike ( which is oh so convienent.)

Bad Sides:
1. still no clarity on what to do in september. In the words of The Clash: do I stay or do I go now? i will figure that out later.
2. portfolio did not get done in time . oops. that is all i have to say about that.

Being home has been weird. i feel like i have aged 10 years in the last year. and then after everything to come back to the place i started from is an odd circle. This last year has been the most challenging i have had ever. I feel like everyone i have been around has put me to the test in some way, and i thank everyone for that because without you guys asking the questions i would have never looked for the answers.
In January i start working full-time for Palmer Jones and i am really looking forward to seeing where that can take me. I feel excited about 2006. I am excited to see what will come of everything and everyone because there is a lot of promise.

I am sure there is much more on my mind. and blogs will be fore frequent but at the moment i am ok with being a little hazy and unsure.